Social Media websites like the infamous FaceBook and many other online social sites have created a 5th dimension to marriage and committed relationships. Real life guidelines for relationships and marriage is most often an unspoken understanding one which has been around since the beginning of time, but what is the guideline for relationships in regards to online social activity? Just as we needed to learn the guide lines for cell phone use once it became the norm for the majority of people to have one we need to have an offline conversation about the guide lines for online activity with our significant other.
Most of us know that the purpose of social media sites for the user is to connect with old and new friends. Sometime the old “friends” are an old flame or new very attentive friend. Did you know that various forms of online media have provided more opportunity for infidelity a precursor to an affair?
According to Catalogs.com’s information library reports: 57% of people use the internet to cheat; 38% have engaged in explicit online sexual conversations; 50% of the people have moved to talking on the phone with people they first chatted or became new friends with online; 31% of the people have had an online conversation that has lead to offline sex. There are 3 venerable groups that fit into these statistics: young couples, lonely housewives and older men.
So, I thought I would start an online conversation on this subject of “How to keep your Marriage/Relationship Safe while using Social Media” and offer some guidelines you can go by and discuss in your relationship as well as share with others to expand the conversation and awareness.
- Discuss what is appropriate and what is not in general and in specifics.
- Have a guideline for friend request. Example: Ignore or No to an ex or someone of the opposite sex you do not know in real life.
- Choose your words carefully when posting. Do on post mixed message, they need to be clear so no one will infer unintentional affect to typed messages.
- Do not share or post intimate information or talk negatively about your partner.
- Do not confide in someone of the opposite sex about your relationship problems, you can be-come vulnerable to this support person and good listener.
- Be mindful of what you post or texts from the perspective of how would your partner feel if they read it.
- Do not keep secrets or secret friends from your partner.
- Let your partner know who contacted you; this accountability will protect your relationship.
- Share passwords so you can go each other’s social media accounts or have a couples account.
- When one person in the relationship is spending more time on social sites than putting time and attention into the relationship, first step is to discuss and use time management if still a problem time to deactivate the FaceBook account to eliminate the temptation and possibly seek counseling.
- Be the same person online that you are in real life, if someone is getting to friendly or flirting with you un-friend them.
- Limit the time given to technology; invest time in your relationship. Celebrate your marriage or relationship with posting positive and encouraging things to each other.
Using and sharing these guidelines could be a positive example to others and who knows this could go viral were the new trend for those married couples and those in committed relationships have only couple accounts eliminating the potential for un-welcomed friends.
This is the first day of the rest of your life! You can start right now to make positive change, choose to be your better self and have a great life!